Forseeing for Dummies ep. 2 (PPV segment 3)

*Camera zooms into a dark room where Clairvoyant is sitting by the table surrounded by candels and with a crystal ball in front of him. He slowly raises his eyes and puts a disturbing smile on his face.*

Clairvoyant: "Hello everyobody and welcome to yet another episode of Forseeing for Dummies, the best show hosted by a wrestler here in FRW."

*Clairvoyant closes his eyes for a second and then continues*

Clairvoyant: "Tonight we will witness a very entertaining fight between Spider Girl, CM Punk Cry Baby and yours truly. It is obviously interesting for you, since this week someone actually sent me questions and I don't have to make them up. You can also post questions live right now via Twitter, my Crystal Ball has a WiFi and an app for that."

*Clairvoyant reaches under the table and retrieves 2 envelopes, one red and one blue*

Clairvoyant: "However, before I'll start answering your questions, let me present my famous forseeing skills. In this two envelopes I have written two names. Red envelope consists the name of a looser of tonights match, in the blue one you can find the name of a person that will score a pinfall. Those envelopes will be opened after the fight to show everyone that I can truly predict the future."

*Clairvoyant puts the envelopes into his pocket, smiles towards the camera and continues*

Clairvoyant: "Now let's switch to the main part of our show which is answering your questions, gentle viewers. First one was e-mailed by mrs. Sub Champ from Dorksville. Here is the question: Does my son wore the better pants for tonight as I told him to do?"

*Clairvoyant smiles and retrieves the Ouija Board from under the desk*

Clairvoyant: "To answer this question I will confront the wise Ouija Board. I could also just look for CM Punk, but that wouldn't be fun, would it?"

*Clairvoyant sets the board on the desk and starts mumbling for few seconds. Then he speaks again*

Clairvoyant: "Oh wise Ouija Board. We believe that a piece of cardboard and a magnifying glass on tiny, tiny wheels can tell us the future. Tell us, Great Ouija Board, does CM Punk Sub Champ looks better than usual?"

*Clairvoyant starts to move the magnifying glass around the board and reads the letters.*

Clairvoyant: "N... O... !... S... H... I... T... A... S... U... S... U... A... L... I'm affraid we're rated PG so you will have to decipher that for yourselfs, gentle viewers. Next question comes from Nerdy Kid, and I quote: I read somewhere that almost all of spiders are homosexual. Is that true?"

*Clairvoyant hides the Uoija BOard under the desk and retrieves the Magic Ball 8*

Clairvoyant: "That's an interesting fun fact, Nerdy. Let's consult the Magic Ball 8."

*Clairvoyant closes his eyes and concentrates. He then starts to shake the Magic Ball 8 for a few seconds while asking the question*

Clairvoyant: "Magic Ball 8, is that true that almost all spiders are homosexual?"

*Clairvoyant stops shaking the ball, opens his eyes and reads the answer*

Clairvoyant: "Ask again later. Obviously Magic Ball 8 wants to investigate this matter itself. However, basing on our experience with Spider Man, your theory seems plausible to me."

*Clairvoyant hides the Magic Ball 8 and looks into Crystal Ball*

Clairvoyant: "What, another Avats update? Will it ever end? Anyway, I can see that Genius78656473 has posted a question on Twitter. It sais: How can you say your show is the best show hosted by wrestler in FRW when it's the only show hosted by wrestler in FRW? You suck!"

*Clairvoyant equippes his anti-troll shield and continues*

Clairvoyant: "Dear Genius Random numbers afterwards, since my show is only one it's automatically the best, the worst, longest, shortest and most sexy one here in FRW. I decided to point out the better titles it can have. It's called marketing, DUH! If you would..."

*A knock to the door can be heard, Clairvoyant raises his head*

Clairvoyant: "Why am I always being interrupted during my show? Who is it!?"

*A voice is answering from behind of the door*

Delivery Man: "Special delivery for mr. Clairvoyant!"

*Clairvoyant looks excited and happy, he gets up quickly*

Clairvoyant: "Excuse me gentle viewers, but we have to end for tonight. This is very important. See you all in the ring, don't miss it, it will be fun. And trust me I know, I have crystal balls."

*Clairvoyant approaches the door, opens it and takes the can of tar and a box of feather form Delivery Man. Camera fades*