Forseeing For Dummies Ep 1 (Show 3, segment 2)

*Camera zooms into a dark room where Clairvoyant is sitting by the table surrounded by candels and with a crystal ball in front of him. He slowly raises his eyes and puts a disturbing smile on his face.*

Clairvoyant: "Hello everyone" he sais "Welcome to first episode of Forseeing for dummies. I am Clairvoyant, Wielder of Ouija Board, Owner of Crystal Balls and I will be your host. Today I will answer the questions that you've emailed or tweetet me. First question was emailed by Spider Man from Under The Couch. The question is: will I become The Best Damn Wrestler In The World just because I want it so bad?"

*Clairvoyant pauses for a while, closes his eyes and concetrates. After a moment he says*

Clairvoyant: "Well, that's an interesting questions. To find an answer we must confront my powerfull talisman. It's... magic ball 8!"

*Clairvoyant shakes the ball while asking*

Clairvoyant: "Will Spider Man's dream come true?".

*Clairvoyant stops shaking the ball and reads*

Clairvoyant: "Ask again later. Don't worry, everyone, it's just how this ball is trying to force me to polish it."

*Clairvoyant laughs nervously and faces the Magic ball 8*

Clairvoyant: "Listen Ball, I'm not gonna polish you in front of everyone. Will his dream come true?"

*Clairvoyant shakes and reads*

Clairvoyant: "Outlook not so good. What? Don't you understand that if we will give them bad answers, they'll stop calling? Give me something positive!"

*Clairvoyant shakes and reads*

Clairvoyant: "No, and leave me alone, I got a headache".

Clairvoyant: "Well, dear Spider Man, obviously Magic Ball has a very bad headache... which makes two of you. Next question was sent by CM Punk Sub Champ from His Happy Place. Let me quote: Haven't ypou heard I was calling you out? You disrespected me and I can't stand it because deep inside I'm a little girl! What do you have to say for yourself"

*Clairvoyant takes a deep breatch and continues with a smile*

Clairvoyant: "Dear Punk, I don't know what to say to you. I will have to confront higher powers to get an answer for your question. And for that I will use... Ouija Board!"

*Clairvoyant sets the board on the table and asks*

Clairvoyant: "Oh wise Ouija Board. We believe that a piece of cardboard and a magnifying glass on tiny, tiny wheels can tell us the future and true matters of all that is here and there. Tell us, Great Ouija Board, what do I have to say for myself?"

*Calirvoyant starts to move the magnifying glass around the board and reads the letters.*


Clairvoyant: "K... N... Could it be Knicks lost in Playoffs again? WHats next? O... ...C K...? Knock? What?"

*Knock on the door of Clairvoyant's locker room can be heard. Clairvoyant raises his head surprised*

Clairvoyant: "Who the hell can it be? I would ask you, Ouija, but it would take forever. Let me just see."

Clairvoyant approaches the door and opens it. In a split second his head is being crashed with the Punk's trophy. CM PUnk Sub Champ Marches in and stands over the uncouncious body of Clairvoyant.

CM Punk Sub Champ: "Guess you couldn't forsee that after all, did you? Who's a smartass now? You're just a worthless piece of crap, when I'm done with Spider Man next week, I will crush you also! You hear me!? Of course you don't, because you're uncioncious."

*CM Punk SUb Champ starts laughing as if he just told a great joke. He leaves the room, leaving Clairvoyant unconcious. Camera fades*